Saturday, October 15, 2011

Rageaholics: Got Rage, Get Help - It's out there!

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."
Lily Tomlin

SEAL BEACH, California (AP) — A gunman opened fire in a busy hair salon, killing eight people and critically wounding another while leaving bodies scattered throughout the business in a normally sedate Southern California beach community.

The gunman got into a truck and drove away from Salon Meritage after opening fire Wednesday. Scott Evans Dekraai, 42, was stopped by officers about a half-mile away and surrendered without incident while saying he had multiple weapons with him, police Sgt. Steve Bowles said.

Dekraai was arrested and booked on suspicion of murder, Bowles said.

In all, one man and five women died at the salon, one man and one woman died after being transported to a nearby hospital, and one woman remained in critical condition late Wednesday. Their names have not been released.

Friends of the salon owner said the gunman was the ex-husband of a stylist who worked there. Bowles would only say, "There may be something to the motive as to a relationship with somebody in the salon, that is our assumption." He declined to elaborate later.
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Not too many weeks go by without another story about some, I've been done wrong, now I want to go on a violent rampage, monster. These callous, narcissistic and irrational animals - lacking impulse control - wreck havoc in our society.

It appears the tougher the times, the more frequent the outbursts.

In particular, in the black urban America, killing is far too often the chosen option for conflict resolution - especially for young males. How many times have we heard an unashamed killer state?: He looked at me wrong or he stepped on my shoes.

Much of this behavior is rooted in unresolved baggage from the past. Individuals, with personal histories of hurt, neglect and pain, stalk our streets - literally and figuratively - as loaded weapons, just waiting for somebody, anybody to just make their day

Any minor incident can serve as an opportunity to lash out and release pent up hostility. Innocent victims become nothing more than collateral damage.

But most rageaholics don't manifest as serial killers; most are seemingly well adjusted friends, spouses, family and co-workers whose rage flies under-the-radar. Matter of fact, some throw silent temper tantrums that reflect passive aggressiveness.

Some rageaholics internalize the anger and become self-abusive, via drugs, alcohol, and over-eating.

And the rage simmers on. And the most ironic thing about rageaholics, no matter how much abuse, destruction and mayhem they cause, they almost always see themselves as the victim.

Their convoluted retort is: Look what you made me do

What's the answer?

Therapy, group therapy, counselling, church support groups, Rageaholic Meetings, AA meetings (rage and alcoholism are a very dangerous combination), physical training - and did I say, therapy.

The point is you do not have to walk around like a volcano ready to erupt. Get the help!

Far too often, we clutch the demons in our past as if they are valuable jewels. Learning how to forgive - even self-forgiveness - and release the pull of the past are major steps in emotional emancipation.

To reiterate Lily Tomlin:

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."

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