Mitt Romney: Wanna Be Panderer And Chief -- B-Movie Star

B-MOVIE Star

Look mom, he's at it again!

Yes the serial panderer, down south trying to get some votes, in B-Movie form, is showing his true nature once more:

Meet the new Mitt Romney — the grit eatin’, critter stompin’, country music lovin’,y’all sayin’ presidential candidate.

It’s been a quick makeover, one that’s probably not going to stick around beyond Tuesday’s primaries in Mississippi and Alabama. But it’s been fun to watch the transformation, rolled out during a two-day, three-rally swing that look an awful lot like every other campaign event the ex-Massachusetts governor has had in recent months — save his conversion into an “unofficial Southerner.” source

He's not done yet. It get's worse: 

On cue, Romney kept the Southern shtick going Thursday morning at a town hall-style rally in Jackson, Miss. Standing next to Gov. Phil Bryant, a recent endorser who’s from one of the most conservative counties in the state, Romney opened with a local salute.

“The governor said I had to say it right: Mornin’ y’all. Good to be with you,” Romney bantered. “I got started right this morning with a biscuit and some cheesy grits. I’ll tell you! Delicious.” source

The man of a thousand faces -- as Gil Scott Heron famously quipped about Ron Reagan:

Lon Chaney, our man of a thousand faces - no match for Ron. Doug Henning does the make-up - special effects from Grecian Formula 16 and Crazy Glue. Transportation furnished by the David Rockefeller of Remote Control Company. Their slogan is, “Why wait for 1984? You can panic now...and avoid the rush.”

But, oh yeah, I remember. In this year that we have now declared the year from Shogun to Reagan, I remember what I said about Reagan, I meant it. Acted like an actor. Hollyweird. Acted like a liberal. Acted like General Franco when he acted like governor of California, then he acted like a Republican. Then he acted like somebody was going to vote for him for president. And now we act like 26% of the registered voters is actually a mandate. We're all actors in this I suppose. 

A theme song for saber-rallying and selling wars door-to-door. Remember, we're looking for the closest thing we can find to John Wayne. Clichés abound like kangaroos – courtesy of some spaced out Marlin Perkins, a Reagan contemporary. Clichés like, “itchy trigger finger” and “tall in the saddle” and “riding off or on into the sunset.” Clichés like, “Get off of my planet by sundown!” More so than clichés like, “he died with his boots on.” Marine tough the man is. Bogart tough the man is. Cagney tough the man is. Hollywood tough the man is. Cheap stick tough. And Bonzo's substantial. The ultimate in synthetic selling: A Madison Avenue masterpiece – a miracle – a cotton-candy politician…Presto! Macho!

This, the most bizzarrest of bizarre GOP primary, is a B-Movie -- of the horror genre. It's 2012 and the names, faces, stars and co-stars have changed but the game remains the same: 

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